PSA: Bra Shopping

I have a public service announcement to make: If you decide to go bra shopping with a good friend, make sure your choice of friend is one who shares a similarly measured bust line. Choosing appropriately can make the difference between sharing the burden of such a regrettable task, and living in the embarrassment of different sized… perspectives.

A while back, I decided I had neglected my need to go bra shopping for long enough. I called a friend of mine, Ashley, and asked if she wanted to come with me. It always eases the frustrations of shopping when accompanied by a friend who will join with you in laughter at the bulges and pinches that come to bare in the dressing room. It is maddening shopping for the one piece of apparel we all require. How is it possible no one can figure out how to craft one to fit?

Ashley and I waltzed into Victoria’s Secret with radiating hints of mischief in our smiles… and a purpose.

After thumbing through the delicate lace panties colored magenta, sea foam green, and sunflower yellow, we headed toward the prize. We were momentarily distracted by the dazzling cheekless garter belts, but eventually made it to the dressing room with a heap of bras to try.

I tried on seven different sizes, diverse styles and fabrics, and a multitude of colors. Narrowing the choices made for much entertainment. Ashley comes with a specialized skill that is valuable when making such decisions – she is brutally honest. She was more than willing to constructively point out when I was pouring out of this one, or when that one was strangling my back fat. What are friends for?

The crux of the problem, in our differing body types, exposed itself in monumental fashion when Ashley, who wears a bra more as an accessory than a necessity, leveled her input on my bra of choice by standing in front of me and grasping the straps just a few inches below my shoulders. She then raised the straps up about three inches and had the audacity to ask, “Don’t you want them up here?”

…..

If any of you are wealthily endowed, you can imagine my expression. You also know there is no bra in the world that will keep them “up here.”

Consider this your public service announcement. Unless you are aiming merely for entertainment, shop for a bra with a friend who bares the necessity to wear one herself.

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